i just snorted my name. best moment ever
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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