My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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