Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
