lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
