Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
