tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
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