walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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