The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
