everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
