I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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