weddingsv make me drug and hornr
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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