I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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