Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
