The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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