Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
