There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
this will be a night to untag.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
