I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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