put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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