Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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