Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
