3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She said her name was "party"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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