Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
