this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
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if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize