i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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