He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
