I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
