I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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