Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
