Yo dont text me then not text me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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