butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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