when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
