going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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