3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
