Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
