...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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