wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
