Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
