if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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