After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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