I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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