I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
