do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
