did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
