cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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