Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
