i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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