i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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