At least make sure they are 18
Why
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
