It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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