Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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