the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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