Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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