Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
