She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
