he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
