Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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