I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He told me they were just razor bumps!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
